Why I've Had To Turn Into "That Girl"

My Grandma has always been fascinated with identifying the "roles" that each of our relatives bring to our family.  My Grandpa is the wise, quiet listener, my Aunt Jackie is everyone's biggest cheerleader, and my Mom is the one who's way too generous and would do anything for us.  Up until very recently, I was known as "the lazy one."  From early childhood, I would fall asleep in any location, taking naps every day that were three or four hours long, on top of sleeping ten to twelve hours a night.  Despite the amount of Z's I got, I constantly felt sick and tired, leaving me with barely any energy to go the gym or do other activities that a normal woman my age does with no trouble.  On top of that, I felt like I couldn't eat anything without feeling sick afterwards. I was told by doctors that it was just stress, or that if I exercised more, I would feel better (oh?).  After the first half of Senior year ended, I decided that enough was enough.  I switched doctors, and made it clear to my new physician that there was definitely something wrong with me.  Several blood tests and about a week later, I got a call at my internship from a nurse that yes, it "looked like" I had tested positive for Celiac disease, I was Vitamin D-deficient, needed to start taking Omega-3, and did I have any questions.  I had a million, so of course I answered "No, thanks for letting me know! Have a great day!" and hung up.

While shedding some tears in my cubicle and munching on one of those giant cookies they give you at diners, I went on Google and looked up what I was no longer allowed to eat.  Big mistake.  I learned that eating any wheat, barley, malt, or rye products not only made me feel sick and tired, but had the potential to give me tons of fun health problems later in life, including anemia, early onset osteoporosis, infertility, nervous system disorders, GI cancers, seizures, migraines, dementia, diabetes, you name it, it could probably happen to me.  To be honest, I was more upset about the fact that pasta was no longer a thing I could do anymore. 

It has been 57 days since I was diagnosed (but who's counting) and I have to say, I feel 10,000% better.  I now exercise every day and feel well-rested after sleeping for 8 hours like a normal human. I'll admit, I've cheated and eaten some gluten-ous products, but I'm learning how much better I feel when I avoid them at all cost.  As someone who's been a picky eater for my entire existence, I was really dreading having to find gluten-free products, and as someone who's also completely socially awkward, I dreaded even more having to be that girl at restaurants that's constantly saying "excuse me, do you have a gluten-free menu?" and "Can you tell me what type of flour you use in this dish?" UGH.  At this point, I have a confident list of the best gluten-free replacement meals and snacks, and even though I don't know why anyone who didn't need to avoid wheat would ever take on that task, some of them are decent snacks even if you can eat all of the bread you want. 

Disclaimer: Nothing.  NOTHING will ever replace my favorite bagels.  Bagels will not be included on this list because I refuse to dishonor them by calling any gluten free bagel "close to the real thing"




1. Annie's Rice Shells and Creamy White Cheddar: It's the only boxed mac n cheese replacement I've had that doesn't taste like feet.  Just add a little extra butter to what the box recommends and it's a great fake mac.





2. Barilla Pasta: It legitimately tastes just like real pasta.  This brand has saved me a lot of tears when I need some fettucini alfredo.  Another bonus is that most restaurants have caught onto the fact that this brand is the best, so a lot of Italian restaurants use it as their go-to GF dish.

3. Any of Conte's Brand Stuffed Pastas: This company makes ravioli, and I have yet to find another edible replacement for it.  Every product I've tried from Conte's has been at least decent.







4. Udi's Double Chocolate Muffins: Sometimes (most days) I just don't have the time or energy to make myself eggs for breakfast, and I really can't stand cereal.  The package says to keep these in the freezer, but I just keep them in the fridge and microwave them as I need them.  They're really good, and somehow not crumbly like most other GF baked goods are.



5. Russo's Pizza Bites: Okay, so when you make these, they don't look like pizza bites.  They're actually more like fried ravioli or something, but they still taste pretty good.  My only complaint is that you have to cook them much longer than the bag says.